How you talk to your partner, and how he or she talks to you, reveals a lot about your relationship. Positive comments help to keep relationships alive while negative comments spell trouble.
The more negative comments between partners in a relationship, the greater the threat to the relationship. Gottman uses the analogy of banking and finances. He views any positive comment between partners as a deposit in the bank and any negative comment as a withdrawal. Positive comments help to build your funds and provide security. Ongoing negative comments create a constant draw on your account. No relationship can continue very long on deficit financing.
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