Solve: Turn differences into blessings.

Lesson 5

We may have very different visions for our shared gardens. One gardener may favor colorful flowers, while the other insists on tomatoes and peas. These differences may not simply disappear with a calm discussion. Each partnership will have unresolvable differences. If we choose to stay calm, listen attentively, understand our partner’s view, and use creativity, it is possible to turn difference into strengths.

Workbook 5

To read the entire article go to the following link

http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/marriage/default.htm

Understand: Cultivate compassion for your partner

Lesson 4

Gardening can be both rewarding and challenging. At times each of us will get sunburned, poked by thorns, and bitten by bugs. During these difficult and painful times, we can be gardening partners who compassionately respond to each other’s pains rather than scold our partner for not using sunscreen or being more careful. We can be gardeners in whose gentle hands our partners heal and grow strong.

Workbook 4

To read this entire article go to the following link http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/marriage/default.htm

• President James E. Faust of the First Presidency taught: “Many covenants are indispensable to happiness here and hereafter. Among the most important are the marriage covenants made between husband and wife. From these covenants flow the greatest joys of life” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1998, 19; or Ensign, May 1998, 17).

• Elder Boyd K. Packer said that “romance, love, marriage, and parenthood” are “the purest, most beautiful and appealing experiences of life” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1993, 28; or Ensign, Nov. 1993, 21).

• Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles expressed: “The sweet companionship of eternal marriage is one of the greatest blessings God has granted to His children. Certainly, the many years I have shared with my beautiful companion have brought me the deepest joys of my life. From the beginning of time, marital companionship of husband and wife has been fundamental to our Heavenly Father’s great plan of happiness. Our lives are touched for good, and we are both edified and ennobled as we savor the sweet blessings of association with dear members of the family” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1997, 42; or Ensign, Nov. 1997, 32).

• In his first address to the general Church membership as President of the Church, President Gordon B. Hinckley said: “To my beloved wife of fifty-eight years later this month, I express appreciation. … How grateful I am for this precious woman who has walked at my side through sunshine and storm. We do not stand as tall as we once did. But there has been no shrinkage in our love one for another” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1995, 93; or Ensign, May 1995, 70).

Nurture: Do the work of loving.

Lesson 3

Marriage can grow from a handful of seeds to a garden filled with colorful, radiant life. But this won’t happen by accident. It will require careful attention to the well-being of the plants. We may need to increase the light of encouragement, the fertilizer of time spent together, and the water of kindness. We needs to weed our destructive thoughts and actions while encouraging healthy growth. Steady investments in the relationship will assure a bountiful harvest.

Workbook 3

To read the entire article go to the following link
http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/marriage/default.htm

Love, Like Rain

Recently I read the book The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom. In the book Mitch Albom writes about love;

"Love, like rain, can nourish from above, drenching couples with soaking love. But sometimes, under the angry heat of life, love dries on the surface and must nourish from below, tending to it's roots, keeping itself alive."

Grow: Expand Your Strengths

Lesson Two

The health of the garden is rooted in the health of the individual gardeners. If we do not nurture our personal strengths and abilities – or if we fail to manage our personal weaknesses – we will not be well prepared to take on our gardening tasks. The most successful gardeners know that they must invest time in reflection, learning and improvement. They then have more strengths to bring to the garden and to their gardening partnerships.

Workbook 2

To read the entire article go to the following link

http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/marriage/default.htm

Family Life The Marriage Garden--Lesson One

Lesson One

Cultivating a good marriage is like two people growing a healthy garden. To achieve a full and satisfying harvest, the gardeners must work in harmony with one another, using the right tools, gardening wisdom, and a willing spirit. The gardening process teaches us vital – and sometimes painful – lessons about life. The struggle is worth it: both good marriages and healthy gardens can enrich and delight us. But neither happens by chance. Let’s break ground!

Commit: Make and honor promises.
We start our gardens with great visions and bold enthusiasm. But, weeds, bad weather, pests, and distractions threaten our hopes and dreams. It takes more than initial enthusiasm to get from a vision of possibilities to a healthy reality. It takes steady commitment and effort. If we are unwilling to deal with problems and differences, we will never enjoy a bountiful harvest. Each of us can commit regular time and energy to caring for our garden.

Workbook 1


To read the entire article go to the following site
http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/marriage/default.htm

The Simple Truth

“The simple truth,” says Gottman, “is that happy marriages are based on a deep friendship… Friendship is the foundation of the love.”

To read the full article go to the following link
http://www.upperbay.org/building_strong_relationships.htm

Finding Time

In his book, Take Back Your Marriage, Dr. William J. Doherty states that "many of us, especially when we are raising children and have busy jobs, live our marriages with a chronic sense of deficit about the time we spend together as a couple," and that "competitors for our daily time are far more assertive than we are about our marriage" (p. 61).

Coping With These Demands

With this multitude of demands, how can couples cope with the variety of time demands they face and still find time to spend with their spouse?

• Communication is very important. Couples should not assume that their spouse will understand the reason they are not spending time with them. Talk about the reasons. Feelings about not being able to spend time together need to be shared. Even when it is impossible to change the circumstances, it helps to know why and understand how each partner feels.
• Schedule time to be together. For some, it may be necessary to pencil in "dates" with their spouse. Others may find it offensive to treat their marriage with such formality and wish to be more spontaneous, choosing instead to spend time together when the time is right. No matter which alternative is chosen, it is important for couples to spend time with their partner doing something that is enjoyable to them both.
• Establish marriage rituals—everyday activities that are repeated, coordinated, and significant. Examples of marriage rituals are a cup of tea after the children go to bed, a morning walk before the children get up, or a hug and a kiss upon returning from work.
• It may be helpful for couples to take time to purposefully look at the variety of commitments they have. They also need to look at what is truly important to them and spend their time on the things that are the most important.
• Don't be afraid to say "no" to a request that takes time. When a person says "no" to one commitment, it means there is more time for something else.

For further information on this article
http://ohioline.osu.edu/flm02/FS02.html